Being in the psychiatry block for the last 6 weeks has indeed open my eyes.
I’ve seen patients who have attempted suicide; other patients who could hear unusual voices and see unusual things; a sweet, elderly woman who was emotionally abused by her own family and started to have delusional ideas that she was going to be sent to prison; even a Polish guy who was in delirium due to alcohol withdrawal and started causing trouble in the neighbourhood. Oh, and a guy with Asperger’s syndrome, who is currently diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia– his whole life story could do a novel if I were to write them myself!
What’s on your mind?
This has all made me wonder and reflect back on the meaning of life. What do these people see in their life? Take one example, the man who attempted suicide but failed, how easy was it for him to make the decision that he wanted to end his life? What about his family and loved ones, did they come across his mind when he decided to do that? Did he not know that his soul and his body is a gift from god, an ‘amanah’, a responsibility that he was supposed to take very good care of, and that one day he will be questioned about this in the afterlife?
I guess not. I guess these things didn’t even cross his mind at that moment. The only thing he ever wanted to do at that time was to get away, to run away from his problems. To be free from any debts, any issues that were surrounding him, to try to find a way out. That is, how a person without any faith in God would think like.
We ourselves sometimes take for granted that we were given life as Muslims, who have strong faith and iman. Faith and Islam; they are what guide us, they are the tool we weigh our decisions with, and they are the light that shine our life like a torch and bring us to the right path.
O you who believe! If you obey and fear Allah, He will grant you furqan [(a criterion to judge between right and wrong), or (Makhraj, i.e. a way for you to get out from every difficulty)], and will expiate for you your sins, and forgive you; and Allah is the Owner of the Great Bounty. [8:29]
With faith in our hearts, there is no way we will ever be making any stupid decisions (sorry for the language), like attempting suicide or even any deliberate self harm. Life and death is not our decision to make. Our body,our lives and our souls are so so so precious, and it is not even ours in the first place. We are Allah’s creation, and we belong to him. This soul, this body is not my own, I am only borrowing it from God, and one day, when the time comes, I will need to return it to God. That is what I believe.
I hope that one day, all of the patients I have seen will be granted with His light and His hidayah, so that they too can see life in a different perspective. May Allah grant all of us His mercy always, and guide us to the right path, towards Him, insyaAllah…
p/s: thank u everyone for the birthday wishes by the way 😉 muchas gracias~